Tainted Saint: (A Hawke Family Story) (The Hawke Family Book 5) Read online

  A HAWKE FAMILY NOVEL

  GWYN MCNAMEE

  Contents

  Acknowledgments

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Epilogue

  SNEAK PEEK AT STEELE RESOLVE

  About the Author

  OTHER WORKS BY GWYN MCNAMEE

  Tainted Saint

  by

  Gwyn McNamee © 2019

  All rights reserved. Except as permitted by U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without prior permission of the author.

  The scanning, uploading, and distribution of this book via the Internet or via other means without the permission of the publisher is illegal and punishable by law. Please purchase only authorized electronic editions and do not participate in or encourage electronic piracy of copyrighted materials.

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, establishments, or organizations, and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously to give a sense of authenticity. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  Cover Design: Michelle Johnson at Blue Sky Designs

  Editing: Kathleen Payne

  Created with Vellum

  To anyone struggling with guilt or insecurity…remember, everyone deserves a happily ever after.

  Acknowledgments

  Thank you to everyone who helped with Saint and Caroline’s story who may not get a specific mention.

  To my BFF and favorite Jamaican Aileen, thank you for all the amazing info on your home country and for helping make Saint more authentic.

  To my betas, thank you once again for providing invaluable feedback about the story. You help make me a better author.

  And to my husband and daughter, thank you for giving me the support I need to keep writing.

  Prologue

  Only one word comes to mind when I picture Saint Clarke.

  Adonis.

  There’s no other way to describe him nor could anyone else ever compare to the man. It’s hard to compete with six-five, three-hundred pounds of pure muscle and raw sex appeal. Even when he’s trying to remain as inconspicuous as possible standing by the door at the club, his presence fills the room.

  The man is just…hot.

  Really fucking hot.

  Since the moment I first stepped foot into TWO and saw him working the door, I haven’t been able to keep my mouth or lady bits from watering every time he’s in the vicinity. I’m like a bitch in heat, and I’m not ashamed to admit to myself…I would climb that man like a damn tree.

  And he’s here at the party tonight…

  I’m on the hunt. Like I told Storm not an hour before she disappeared, it’s open season.

  Why come to a party like this if you’re not going to enjoy yourself?

  Which is why I was counting down the seconds as Jennifer prattled on and on about An Intimate Affair and the parties, and the setup, and membership, and all the other tedious details I’ll probably need to know to write my story. The recording on my phone ensures I didn’t miss a single thing even though my mind was somewhere else entirely.

  With him.

  And now that I have what I came for, it’s time to get what I want.

  This masquerade ball gives me the perfect excuse to approach Saint as someone else…anyone else. I can’t do it as Caroline—best friend of his boss’ wife. That’s just…awkwardness in the making.

  But then again, he probably doesn’t even know who I am, anyway. I don’t think we’ve ever spoken more than two words to each other when I’ve been to the club, and Dani and I spend more time at the main club than at TWO anyway. That’s probably a good thing, though, because if I did try to talk to him, I’d be a blubbering mass of nerves.

  I’m not Dani. I can’t just walk up to a guy under normal circumstances and tell him I want to fuck. But here, tonight, in this place, anything’s possible. I can be anyone I want. I can do anything I want. And what I want to do is Saint.

  If I can find him…

  Where did he go?

  It’s hard to hide a man that size, yet five minutes of searching have resulted in nothing but frustration on my part.

  I push up on my tiptoes in my heels and scan the crowded room full of sex and debauchery. This party really is something else. It’s the best assignment I’ve ever received from the paper for sure. And the night will only get better. If I can find the object of my affection.

  He should tower above everyone. He should be impossible to miss. Yet…nothing.

  I slump back down and adjust the mask covering the top half of my face.

  Shit. I hope he didn’t leave while I was talking to Jennifer.

  That would be a major let-down after what has been a very eye-opening evening. One that’s left my body vibrating with need. Watching all these people have sex, it’s impossible not to be affected.

  Come on…live porn!

  Warm breath flutters against my neck. “Looking for someone?” The deep voice rumbles next to my ear and a hard, huge body presses against my back.

  I swallow against my suddenly dry throat and turn my head to look over my shoulder.

  The search is over. It seems the man himself found me.

  A shiver of anticipation rolls through my primed body.

  Be decisive. Be aggressive. Take what you want.

  This may be the only chance I get, so I need to take advantage while I can. I suck in a deep breath and turn to face him. Mere inches separate his massive barrel chest from my face.

  Christ. He’s huge.

  And he asked me a question. If I was looking for someone…

  I tilt my head back to look up at him.

  Deep breath, Care.

  “Yeah. You.”

  He flashes me a dazzling white smile beneath the red masquerade mask covering his eyes and leans down until his lips brush the shell of my ear. “What a coincidence. I’ve been looking for you too, since the moment you walked through the front door.”

  Christ…

  Moisture floods between my legs as the promise in his words reverberates through my chest.

  “Why is that?” My question comes out raspy…sexy…and so unlike me. I meet his warm brown eyes. His lips tilt up in a lopsided grin, and his hands curl gently around my biceps.

  “The only reason someone would be here.” He nods back down the hallway behind us. “Come.”

  His giant hand slides down my arm and engulfs my tiny one, and he leads me toward the private rooms Jennifer showed me earlier.

  Oh, my God. This is actually happening.

  My stomach flutters with more nerves than I had on prom night as he holds the door open and ushers me in with a large hand at my lower back. The cool air in the room sends goosebumps spreading across my flesh, but the heat of his touch keeps me grounded in the here and now.

  The Caroline who never initiates, the one who talks a big game but usually stands back and lets someone come to her isn’t here. This mask creates a new Caroline. This Caroline isn’t afraid to take what she wants.

  A massive platform bed dominates the center of the room, with a chaise to the left and an array of sex toys laid out on the table to the right. I gulp as the overhead lights reflect off the metal and make the leather shine.

  Oh my…

  The door clicks shut behind us, and Saint tugs me across the room. His eyes follow mine to the toy display, and he laughs. “Don’t look so scared. While I would really love to play with you some time, I have something else in mind for tonight.”

  I suck in a deep breath and press my thighs together against the throb his words elicit. He walks me backward until my knees hit the bed.

  “Ooh!” A little gasp slips from my lips followed by a nervous giggle.

  He leans down and brushes my hair back from my cheek before he presses his lips to the sensitive spot behind my ear. “You ready for this?”

  Holy hell.

  I thought I was.

  I’m so ready for this. Having Caroline here, quivering in my arms, is everything I’ve dreamt about since the first time I saw her. Her honeysuckle scent invades my every breath, and the sequins of her black floor-length gown scratch against my palms as I hold her against me.

  The tiny woman who has occupied my fantasies for so long stares up at me from behind her black mask, the crystal green eyes filled with lust and maybe a little trepidation. I grasp her chin and brush my thumb across her lips.

  “I won’t hurt you. I promise nothing but pleasure for you tonight.”

  Pleasure for her and me.

  My cock strains against the front of my pants as I press it into her stomach. She moans, and I lean down to taste her lips for the first time.

  Sweet. Divine. Everything Caroline.

  When my eyes found her tonight, my cock raised to attention for the first time since arriving at the party. It’s been a long time since a woman could affect me.

&
nbsp; On a night like this, in this environment, it’s the perfect time to let go of any inhibitions, any reservations. No way I would miss this opportunity if she’s willing.

  And she is certainly that. The moment her eyes met mine and she told me she’d been looking for me, it was a done-deal.

  Caroline Brooks is finally mine.

  Even if only for one night.

  I press my lips to hers as my hands work her dress up around her slim but shapely hips, exposing her bare pussy to me.

  No panties.

  Fucking perfection.

  My palms glide over her smooth, pale skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake.

  I press a kiss to her neck and revel in the shudder that rolls through her as her arms wrap more tightly around my neck. “How do you want me?”

  She whimpers, and the warm flutter of breath spreads across my heated skin. My cock throbs.

  “Hard?”

  “Yes.”

  “Fast?”

  “Yes.”

  “Now?”

  “God, yes.”

  Her hands move to my waist and drag down the zipper on my pants. My cock springs free, and her small, warm palm wraps around the base.

  Fuck.

  I grab a condom from the bowl sitting on the table next to the bed and hand it to her while my lips find hers again.

  Demanding and needy, the kiss mimics every damn thing I want to do to her tonight.

  She releases my cock for a second, then slowly slides the condom down my length. The brush of her fingers is enough to almost have me coming on the spot.

  Christ.

  I’ve waited so long for this. For her.

  And she has no idea.

  She’s always been so aloof, so out of my league. So untouchable.

  But tonight…everyone’s on a level playing field.

  I’m not just a washed-up football player turned bouncer, and she’s not a respected journalist. We’re just two people bound together by desire and need.

  I pull away from her mouth and take her chin in my hand, tilting her face up to mine. Her pale green eyes flash at me.

  My hand snakes down between us, but I pause at her waist. “Turn around, if you’re ready for me.”

  “I’m more than ready.” Soft, breathy words.

  Exactly the ones I’ve been dying to hear from her sweet mouth.

  She turns and climbs onto the bed, her elegant gown bunched up around her hips and that mask still in place over her face.

  I’d give anything to see all of her—no dress, no mask, nothing hiding ourselves—but not tonight. She’s not ready for that, otherwise, we would have been doing this a long time ago.

  I brush the head of my cock through her slick core, and she shivers and shifts back, offering herself up to me under the bright overhead light.

  “Fuck, you’re beautiful.”

  She whimpers softly and reaches back to guide my cock inside her. Wet heat wraps around me, and she clenches down.

  Fucking heaven.

  Through gritted teeth, I drive into her and dig my fingers into her exposed hips to keep her in place.

  Her head drops down to the bed. “Oh, God!”

  Watching my cock disappear inside her has my balls and spine tingling. I want this to last forever, but it’s going to come to an explosive end soon for both of us. Far too soon.

  If only this party could go on and on and I could stay inside Caroline until my dying day. I would die a happy man.

  Her hot, wet pussy wrapped around me, sucking me inside her and holding me captive…it’s the only place I want to be.

  She clenches around me again. “Faster.”

  Hell…

  I lean forward and nip at her ear. “Whatever you need.”

  I’ll give her anything she asks for, anything she wants, anything she ever needs.

  If I could only tell her that, but I don’t dare utter a word of it tonight. Not in a place like this. Caroline needs the anonymity to let go, and I won’t ruin it for either of us.

  Her hips slam back to meet my thrusts, driving me even deeper as I increase my pace. Slapping flesh and our panting breaths fill the room—a song for only us.

  One that will replay in my head every day after this.

  There’s nothing but the feeling of her body and mine. Soft skin. Wet heat. And the sounds of both of us getting and giving each other everything.

  She stills, then cries out. “Oh, fuck.”

  Her pussy ripples and clutches at my cock as I drive into her again and again, chasing my own ecstasy.

  It washes over me with a blinding light and heat that rolls through my limbs. My fingers dig into her soft flesh, and I grit my teeth as I come.

  When I finally still, she collapses on the bed, and I brace myself over her. Tiny puffs of breath slip from her parted lips, but her eyes stay closed behind that mask.

  Spread out like this, with that mask, in this dress, she looks more like a Renaissance painting than anything real, but she is real. Very real. And I want her more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life.

  This hasn’t sated my desire for her. The burning need I’ve felt for so damn long still lingers in my chest.

  This woman…

  I lean over her and press my lips to her warm cheek. She moans softly and shifts but doesn’t open her eyes. “That was magnificent. Let’s do it again.”

  Her eyes flutter open, and a smile breaks out across her face. “Whatever you need.”

  1

  ONE MONTH LATER

  A full week of babysitting and watching Storm. A week of being on guard and having my life revolve around protecting one person. And it was all for nothing.

  That crazy woman still managed to sneak up on us and ruin Storm’s life. And it had nothing to do with Dom and everything to do with Landon’s past.

  We were all focused on the wrong damn threat.

  I growl and slam my fist into the steering wheel. I haven’t had a drop of alcohol in over five years, but this entire situation has me on the edge of driving to the club, not to work but to access the amazing selection of booze behind the bar. Drowning my sorrows was always my go-to way to cope, and there’s only one other way to do it without alcohol—Caroline.

  She’s everything I ever wanted, and that party was a fucking dream come true. What we shared that night was incredible…but when it was over, she turned her back and disappeared into the night.

  She has no idea when I saw her there, my heart stopped and my breath caught in my chest; that it’s been that way since the first time she ever set foot into TWO. No idea that she’s so far out of my league that the mere thought of approaching her before was out of the question.

  No idea that I knew exactly who she was.

  And there’s no doubt she knew it was me. It’s hard to hide behind this body. Yet, she never said a word. Never acknowledged who I was or who she was.

  She gave in to me and gave herself to me completely in that short time. Then got up and walked away without a backward glance.

  Did I totally misread her? Was it really just a one-night stand?

  Probably. What would she want with a guy who throws drunks out on their asses when they harass the naked girls or get too far out of line?

  Caroline is beautiful, elegant, well-educated, and has an important job at a reputable newspaper. I can never have her. Not really. Not permanently. Yet when I take my cock in hand to stroke myself, it’s her I envision. Her I see bent over my bed with her ass high in the air. Her riding me.

  Shit.

  I shake my head and pull over to the side of the road.

  Where the hell am I even going?

  When I heard about what happened at Storm’s tonight, I climbed in my car mindlessly with no destination planned. I drove…and now, I can’t even remember what streets I’ve been on since I left the condo.

  Christ. I hope I didn’t do anything stupid like run a red light while I was spaced out.